I’d like to thank B4by from The Upside Down of Me for passing the ‘Fun Blog Award’ to me. I am so gleeful.

 

 

I pass this award to Margaret, The Rev , Fracas , and Jay. They are all fun blogs, go check them out.

 

Hugs and Wishes for Fracas and 70s, who have not been keeping well from past few days. I thought I’d present them a few gifts to make them feel better.

 

Fracas– As you all know, that she is a famous Food Porn Chef. No you don’t know? Check my Scratch Roll. So, here I present her a delicacy in her style with a hope that this makes her feel a little better.

 

 

70s– She lurves knitting patterns so, this one is for her. Get Well Soon!

 

 

After spending a moolah on our haircut, it was our turn to take Tuffy to the vet clinic for vaccination. We collected Tuffy from friend’s place, and headed to the same clinic that Tuffy has been going to ever since it became a member of Porshea’s family. The board in front of the clinic said, “We are shifting to Gurgaon to pamper your pets in a five star environment.”  Without giving much heed to the board, we trudged into the clinic. The appointment was fixed, thankfully; the doctor gave the required shots to the fluffy Tuffy and patted its little butt. So far, so good. The doctor handed over the pet to us and said, “Have you never got it a haircut? “ 

 

“Haircut? Don’t talk about the haircut? But why does a pup need a haircut dammit?”,  wondered Porshea. But then she thought that if she wouldn’t get Tuffy a haircut, it would automatically fall into the category of deprived pets, who are not pampered enough by their owners.

 

“How much do you charge for it?”

“$12”

 

I could see Porshea’s face, which showed both the expressions of anger, and astonishment. As it is we were still trying to recover from the fact that we had just spent $40 together for out own haircut. I think she just thought ‘Fuck it! Let’s go for it.”

 

The fluffy white Tuffy was taken to the bathroom area in the other part of the clinic called ‘Pet Grooming Centre’. The shivering pet was shampooed with a bubble-gum pink shampoo, blow-dried, and given a hair cut. To much of our surprise, Tuffy looked emaciated, malnutritioned- adopted pet after the fancy haircut. Though Porshea on one hand was fuming with anger with what hair dresser had done to her pampered baby, and was feeling pity at the same time for the pup. She picked the little pup in her arms and hugged it.

 

The doctor came back with a big grin on his face and said “We are opening a five star Pet Grooming Centre in the Gurgaon area, where you would have facilities such a yoga, grooming, spa, games park, hospital etc. for your pets. This is your membership card.”

 

We took the card with a fake smile on our face, paid the bill, and left the clinic thinking ”What a day!”

 

Today is The World’s Favourite Reverend’s Blogiversary. Go wish him and tell him that I sent you. Do that, he likes attention. Ha!

I have been incredibly busy from past 10-12 days setting up a new official website but because of overwork my hand has got swollen, and I have to stop working for a while. I had not updated this blog from many days so I thought I’d write something today with my crippled hand, and then take some rest later on. Amidst these long working hours, music, Google Reader, and small chit chat with friends had been my only sources of entertainment. The other day my friend, Porshea, was telling me about her Pomeranian dog, Tuffy, whom they would have to hand over to someone because they were shifting their base. Although I can totally empathise with her sad situation about leaving Tuffy behind but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing remembering the incidents that took place when we took Tuffy for a vaccination last year. 

 

One of my friends, Judy, works in a Radio station as Marketing Manager. Work apart, the best part about her job is that she gets free vouchers from big brands ranging from books, clothes, cosmetics, resorts, flowers, coffee shops, dance classes, confectioneries, salons, pubs etc. Also, the number of vouchers that she gets is so high that she keeps distributing them among us (we are three close friends). So, whenever she tells us that she is planning to leave her job, we start our chore of convincing her that she would always regret taking such decision. So far we have always passed the test of convincing her that she has the best job in the world, and she couldn’t ask for more. And as Luren Weissberger said in The Devil Wears Prada,’ the job, a million girls would die for.’ Ha! Once, Judy gave me and Porshea a voucher each of a five star hair saloon, Habib’s, considered as one of the best in India. The amount of each voucher was good enough to get other treatments such as hair massage or steaming apart from the famous haircut. Obviously we were elated, and we had fixed a Sunday appointment at Habib’s South Extension outlet along with an appointment for Tuffy to get its vaccination at a nearby vet clinic. We didn’t bother to read the ‘terms and conditions’ written in fine print at the back of voucher. As it is it was Habib’s, with a nation wide reach. How could anything go wrong? After the lunch on hot Sunday afternoon, we got ourselves dressed, Porshea quickly brushed Tuffy’s hair, and we left along with the happy looking pup wriggling its tail. The itinerary was all planned.  Drop Tuffy at a friend’s place, get a haircut, get the pup vaccinated, pick up takeaway for the dinner, and come back home flaunting much-to-the-envy-of-others haircut. 

 

After dropping Tuffy at friend’s, we proudly walked at the salon and asked for the haircut without mentioning that we had a free voucher, which means that we would pay them nothing after they would adorn our looks. Smart Asses, huh? Both Porshea and I were quietly preening at our intelligence. We got our haircuts according to our face types, and we looked pretty and took a sense of pride looking ourselves in the mirror. We had decided to get the haircut as of now, and exhaust the rest of the voucher money some other time. We said thanks to our respective hairdressers, and headed to the payment counter. We were presented the bill and in return, we gave our vouchers adorning our never-to-die smiles. The lady at the counter checked the vouchers and sweetly said,” Ma’m, this voucher is valid at the Greater Kailash outlet, and not at this one. It is clearly mentioned at the back of the voucher.”

 

Boink Boink Boink!

 

What? Are you kidding us? Fuck it!  $20 for a haircut? We have never had a haircut for more than $3 ever , you mad woman! We are students and not the high-profile-kitty- party-aunties! We cannot pay this much. Dammit! These were the only thoughts that surrounded our mind, and we went blank for a few seconds.

 

Porshea and I didn’t even looked at each other and let the strings of our purse loose to pay the bill. The never-to-die smile was dead by then, and it with DUMB engraved (in bold letters) on our faces, we paid $20.  We came out sulking-grumbling, and decided not to get a haircut for next 4 months atleast. The first thing was to call Judy and put all the blame on her for not telling us clearly about the ‘terms and conditions’ of the voucher. Silly woman! She almost spat her drink on her boyfriend’s face after listening to our cribbing , and consoled us by saying that atleast we got a haircut form Habib’s. Yeah baby!

 

Next Post– Tuffy’s Story

 

 

 

Of late a lot of things have been keeping me busy so, I was hoping if someone could update my blog and write for me. Guest post anyone? I was just thinking about this, and I think Someone up there said- Alright! Here you go.!

 

As a routine, yesterday also there were tickling gits at my home to take free sweets from my mom, and there was a lot of chaos and screaming-shouting going on. I was a little irritated so I thought I’d make one of them punish for making so much noise and it’ll be a lesson for all. The punishment would be that one of the young chaps has to write something for my blog or else there would be no sweets for any of them today.*evil grin* One 7 year old among them, who is the naughtiest among the lot and doesn’t leave a chance to tease me was smirking and making faces at me. I decided that he would be the scapegoat for the day. 70s and I have been talking a lot about the elephant posted on her blog so I decided to show him the post first, try to scare him and then ask him to write an essay on ‘I like elephants’. Although my mom tried to protest but I was adamant about it. No essay, no sweets. The rest of the kids were staring me with grim faces, and I am pretty sure that they must be cursing me in their hearts.

 

As soon as I started my laptop, all 10-12 of them jumped on my bed to see what am I going to show to their leader and what cost would they have to pay to get their sweets today. I loaded 70s blog and showed him the post.I asked him whether he liked the elephant? He first stared at me as if I have committed a crime by asking him such a question and how dared I ask such a question to the leader of the gang? In one word he replied,” No”.  Here was my chance.

 

I told him to write a letter to 70s telling her how much he likes elephants and rest of them have to maintain a pin drop silence while he writes the letter. With no option left, he decided to write but he asked for a promise. He said,” You will read this essay after distributing sweets among us.” Silly me. Without even giving it a single thought I said yes.

 

Following is the letter that he wrote:

 

 

Dear 70s Auntie,

 

I don’t like elephants and I don’t like Scratchy but I won’t get my sweets if I don’t write an essay on “I like elephants.”. 

I like elephants. They are nice and cute. They have big bums and I like them. I don’t like their hair pricking me when I ride on them but I like their ears. I like to hang myself on their ears. I don’t like the way they walk with one foot in China and one in India but I want my sweets so I like them. I don’t like them when they blow water on me with their trunk. Elephants like sugarcanes so, I like sugarcanes too but I like chocolates better. We have a God named Ganesha  who has a face like elephant. He looks better than elephants and listen to all my prayers. I pray to him everyday. He has a big tummy and likes eating sweets. I like eating sweets too. I don’t like the picture of the elephant on your blog… it scares me. Why have your parents named you 70s?My name is Ansh.

 

Thank you

Ansh.

 

As soon as he completed writing the letter, he asked me to distribute sweets first, and then only I would get the (precious) note. I snootily asked them to collect the sweets from mom. Yayyyy, they screamed, and left my room throwing the note on the floor. I quicly picked it up and read it. But. Before I could react to what he had written, these gits were standing at a distance from me, teasing me with their tongues out and giggling among themselves. All I could do was shoo them away and sulk. As if I had an option.

 

Note: This was a hand written note but since I don’t have a scanner with me, I have typed it exactly the same. I am sure that you have your sympathies with me. 

 

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