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7a.m. Wake up! Yawn!! Switch On Lappy Top
Check Official site. There are only queries and queries. Have they lost it, they are asking me queries at 7 .15 a.m. in morning? …Procrastinate.
7.30 Upload stuff, check website for the unwanted promotions. Delete Delete. Buzz Off!!
It’s already 8 a.m Huh!! Get out of bed. Brush, prepare tea, pick lappy top and back to work.
Start researching for an article for Donkey Blog. Errrmmm… subscription problem- fix, Comments not moderated – moderate. Try to add donkey header- no avail. Eeeks!!! It’s 9.30 ! Start researching again.
Dammit! It’s time to take bath.
11.am. Open Daddy Papersufer. Leave comment. He asking what is the back of a knee called. Brain Dead! No Answer. No comment. Fuel.
Start researching for Donkey Blog again. Open Drowsey Monkey in another tab. Ohh!! She and Olga are running a competition. Write a dirty comment. Leave.
Errmmm …research and no blogging. Huh!! What is Margaret doing in New York? Oh!! She has added another article. Don’t read till you complete research. Research….
It’s already 2 p.m. What? Lunch time. 2p.m.-3.30p.m. lunch.
Back to Lappy Top! Open Official website. Glace, everything seems alright so far! Ehh!! I had to fave blogs on technorati. Add blogs to technorati. Update profile, no time to add piccyy , check more blogs. Dianne is back from her holiday. Leave comment on her blog.
I promised Fracas that I’ll add Fraccers in my Scratch Roll. Add and leave a comment in her Flaunt section.
Darn!! I have to write an article now. The research material is there. Let me first check MyBlogLog. Oohh!! There is this Digg Button that I have never used. Update profile, check how to use this silly button. Huh!! Lost it. Freaks!!! It’s 5 p.m.
No blogging. Only article. Okay, dedicatedly write an article till 6.15 and upload till 6.30. So far, so good. Tea time
7 p.m back to Lappy Top. Check Donkey Blog. No ass has left a comment. Never Mind! It’s just 3 days. Solve queries on website. I should check what JD is doing. Yeah!! She is was talking about coffee. I love coffee. Leave a quick comment.
Mental note- Check Jay, 70s and Michael before the day ends. Aww!! Rev is sad. Leave hugs for him. (Google Reader is open permanently)
Sigh!! Dammitt!! The stats of my blog are not working. Open wordpress forums, search search.
Mom (calling)- “Scratchy it’s dinner time. “
Me- “Coming Mom!!”
Close Laptop. Dinner and chit chat with family.
Back to room by 9.30 Check the stats thingy again. Need to add plugin, add it, looks fine, edit details. Open FMB, Quick fuel for all.
Oh Scratcher’s time. Login to chat…open rest of the websites. Solve queries, add updates. Chit chat with him for …eeerrrmm.. 2 hours.. 3 hours. Make more plans. He wants to open another website, which means more work. Keep reading stuff in different tabs while he types. Damn!!
Stop chatting, I need to work! Ummm…1 a.m. ! I think I’ll work tomorrow. Yawn! Good Night!
No doubt I have lost my marbles!!
After spending a moolah on our haircut, it was our turn to take Tuffy to the vet clinic for vaccination. We collected Tuffy from friend’s place, and headed to the same clinic that Tuffy has been going to ever since it became a member of Porshea’s family. The board in front of the clinic said, “We are shifting to Gurgaon to pamper your pets in a five star environment.” Without giving much heed to the board, we trudged into the clinic. The appointment was fixed, thankfully; the doctor gave the required shots to the fluffy Tuffy and patted its little butt. So far, so good. The doctor handed over the pet to us and said, “Have you never got it a haircut? “
“Haircut? Don’t talk about the haircut? But why does a pup need a haircut dammit?”, wondered Porshea. But then she thought that if she wouldn’t get Tuffy a haircut, it would automatically fall into the category of deprived pets, who are not pampered enough by their owners.
“How much do you charge for it?”
I could see Porshea’s face, which showed both the expressions of anger, and astonishment. As it is we were still trying to recover from the fact that we had just spent $40 together for out own haircut. I think she just thought ‘Fuck it! Let’s go for it.”
The fluffy white Tuffy was taken to the bathroom area in the other part of the clinic called ‘Pet Grooming Centre’. The shivering pet was shampooed with a bubble-gum pink shampoo, blow-dried, and given a hair cut. To much of our surprise, Tuffy looked emaciated, malnutritioned- adopted pet after the fancy haircut. Though Porshea on one hand was fuming with anger with what hair dresser had done to her pampered baby, and was feeling pity at the same time for the pup. She picked the little pup in her arms and hugged it.
The doctor came back with a big grin on his face and said “We are opening a five star Pet Grooming Centre in the Gurgaon area, where you would have facilities such a yoga, grooming, spa, games park, hospital etc. for your pets. This is your membership card.”
We took the card with a fake smile on our face, paid the bill, and left the clinic thinking ”What a day!”
Today is The World’s Favourite Reverend’s Blogiversary. Go wish him and tell him that I sent you. Do that, he likes attention. Ha!
I have been incredibly busy from past 10-12 days setting up a new official website but because of overwork my hand has got swollen, and I have to stop working for a while. I had not updated this blog from many days so I thought I’d write something today with my crippled hand, and then take some rest later on. Amidst these long working hours, music, Google Reader, and small chit chat with friends had been my only sources of entertainment. The other day my friend, Porshea, was telling me about her Pomeranian dog, Tuffy, whom they would have to hand over to someone because they were shifting their base. Although I can totally empathise with her sad situation about leaving Tuffy behind but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing remembering the incidents that took place when we took Tuffy for a vaccination last year.
One of my friends, Judy, works in a Radio station as Marketing Manager. Work apart, the best part about her job is that she gets free vouchers from big brands ranging from books, clothes, cosmetics, resorts, flowers, coffee shops, dance classes, confectioneries, salons, pubs etc. Also, the number of vouchers that she gets is so high that she keeps distributing them among us (we are three close friends). So, whenever she tells us that she is planning to leave her job, we start our chore of convincing her that she would always regret taking such decision. So far we have always passed the test of convincing her that she has the best job in the world, and she couldn’t ask for more. And as Luren Weissberger said in The Devil Wears Prada,’ the job, a million girls would die for.’ Ha! Once, Judy gave me and Porshea a voucher each of a five star hair saloon, Habib’s, considered as one of the best in India. The amount of each voucher was good enough to get other treatments such as hair massage or steaming apart from the famous haircut. Obviously we were elated, and we had fixed a Sunday appointment at Habib’s South Extension outlet along with an appointment for Tuffy to get its vaccination at a nearby vet clinic. We didn’t bother to read the ‘terms and conditions’ written in fine print at the back of voucher. As it is it was Habib’s, with a nation wide reach. How could anything go wrong? After the lunch on hot Sunday afternoon, we got ourselves dressed, Porshea quickly brushed Tuffy’s hair, and we left along with the happy looking pup wriggling its tail. The itinerary was all planned. Drop Tuffy at a friend’s place, get a haircut, get the pup vaccinated, pick up takeaway for the dinner, and come back home flaunting much-to-the-envy-of-others haircut.
After dropping Tuffy at friend’s, we proudly walked at the salon and asked for the haircut without mentioning that we had a free voucher, which means that we would pay them nothing after they would adorn our looks. Smart Asses, huh? Both Porshea and I were quietly preening at our intelligence. We got our haircuts according to our face types, and we looked pretty and took a sense of pride looking ourselves in the mirror. We had decided to get the haircut as of now, and exhaust the rest of the voucher money some other time. We said thanks to our respective hairdressers, and headed to the payment counter. We were presented the bill and in return, we gave our vouchers adorning our never-to-die smiles. The lady at the counter checked the vouchers and sweetly said,” Ma’m, this voucher is valid at the Greater Kailash outlet, and not at this one. It is clearly mentioned at the back of the voucher.”
Boink Boink Boink!
What? Are you kidding us? Fuck it! $20 for a haircut? We have never had a haircut for more than $3 ever , you mad woman! We are students and not the high-profile-kitty- party-aunties! We cannot pay this much. Dammit! These were the only thoughts that surrounded our mind, and we went blank for a few seconds.
Porshea and I didn’t even looked at each other and let the strings of our purse loose to pay the bill. The never-to-die smile was dead by then, and it with DUMB engraved (in bold letters) on our faces, we paid $20. We came out sulking-grumbling, and decided not to get a haircut for next 4 months atleast. The first thing was to call Judy and put all the blame on her for not telling us clearly about the ‘terms and conditions’ of the voucher. Silly woman! She almost spat her drink on her boyfriend’s face after listening to our cribbing , and consoled us by saying that atleast we got a haircut form Habib’s. Yeah baby!
Next Post– Tuffy’s Story
Me: When I say Agra, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
She: Taj Mahal
She: The Hanging Gardens
Me: Umm something else?
She: Beer? European Union?
When she couldn’t come up with the answer that I was looking for, I asked her check Renny’s blog. She suddenly screamed on the phone-‘The Pee Poo boy from Belgium.’
I told her that it’s not the Pee chap from Brussels but a similar version. We chit chatted for a while after that and I sat down to find out a little more about the denuded boy, The Mennekan Pis, also known as the Petit Julien in French.
The reason that my friend reacted with such ebullience was she remembered the time when a group of our friends were making fun of people who come from across the world to check out a guy who is taking a whiz in public. As if they have never seen their naughty kids peeing wholeheartedly at every place. To add it all people buy souvenirs, trinkets, chocolates, post cards of this happy pee chap.
The most difficult lot to digest the fact that people from across the globe go to a watch a peeing boy, are the Indian men. Since generations they have been ranting the slogan- Give us a wall, and we’ll pee. Their argument is that they have been peeing in public from ages but none came to click them or a make a statue of them so that people from far off places come to see them. No one cares about the art that they possess. Rather whenever they are caught by a policeman while peeing in public, they are given warning about paying a buck at Shulabh Shauchalaya (easy toilets),and peeing in private.
When we are talking about the Mennekan Pis, how can we forget the female version of the same, the Jeanneke Pis ? I once argued with a friend that if men can pee in public why can’t women? Today when I think about what I said, I wonder why I can’t keep my big mouth shut at times.
Nevertheless, the main attraction lies in the surprises that Belgium may throw at you. Drink Belgium beer, pee in public, and you may be the next one to get your statue engraved there.;)
Updates– I have launched the Award Lounge, where you may enjoy some icecream while viewing my awards. I have not added a couch there, please feel free to use comment box as your couch. Also, the page is best viewed on Internet Explorer, it looks sad on Mozilla Firefox.
Worthy award huh! I have to pass this award to the top commenters but there is no way I can figure out who top commenters are. Please accept this award, if you think you leave a lot of comments on my blog.:)
Me – Lying down languorously, and thinking about the new accolade that Drowsey passed on to me.
Alter Ego (sarcastically) – Impressive Huh! Two awards in just two months of blogging. Which one this time?
Me (smilingly) – Mmm. The Kick Ass Blogger Award.
Alter Ego (smirkingly)- Drowsey again?
ME– (a little annoyed) -What do you mean by ‘Drowsey again’?
Alter Ego– I am just asking!
Me (chuckling at the thought) Yeah!
Alter Ego– Why do you think she gave this award to you?
Me (shrug)- May be she likes me.
Alter Ego– May be not?
ME (startled)- But then, why do you think she gave this award to me?
Alter Ego– May be she wanted to kick your ass hard, and it’s her way to telling you that ‘since all you write is crap, and I want to give one Kick in your Ass.’ I thought that you were smart enough to understand this much!
ME (jaw drops) -Rather than thanking her ,you are just putting wrong things in my head. I am telling you that she likes me, likes me, and likes me. Do you know that I have to pass this award to five other bloggers?
Alter Ego (carelessly) -Mmmmm
ME- I’ll ask her tomorrow whether she likes me or not! Fuck Off! And if I don’t get another award from her, you better be prepared for an award from me.
Alter Ego– Yawn! It’s quite late, I gotta sleep. Good Night.
ME (Grumpy)- Buzz Off!
Drowsey, would you tell me who won? My Alter Ego or I? Tell me that I did!
Not thinking about way my Grima Wormtongue Alter Ego thinks, I am passing this award to five of my fellow bloggers whose blogs I enjoy a lot. But wait a minute! There are some rules.
Load Drowsey’s Blog- Copy rules there- Paste rules here.
* Choose 5 other bloggers that you feel are “Kick Ass Bloggers”
* Let them know that they have received an award
* Link back to both the person who awarded you and also www.mammadawg.com
* Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ , to get codes click here and it will take you to KABC HQ, sign Mr. Linky then pass it on!
Hmmm.. looks perfect. So, the Award goes to :-