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Breaking News– Scratch for the Soul is blog of the day on ‘Fuel My Blog’.

 

Although I have been blogging for just four months but it feels that it’s been ages now that I have been in the process. My special thanks to Kevin and Sylvie for giving me this honour and most of all Michael for recommending my blog. I want to thank my mummy, my papa, my neighbours, their pets, pets’ friends, a bra, a box, a diary… Sniff!! Sniff!! the preist, LOL cats, eggs, rotten tomatoes, and everyone who has been a part of my bags. Sniff!!

 

I have thrown a little party and all of you are invited. Everyone will get plates, forks, knives, and caps.

 

 

And ze cake. Uh oh!! Rush! someone is already eating it.

 

 

 

Of late a lot of things have been keeping me busy so, I was hoping if someone could update my blog and write for me. Guest post anyone? I was just thinking about this, and I think Someone up there said- Alright! Here you go.!

 

As a routine, yesterday also there were tickling gits at my home to take free sweets from my mom, and there was a lot of chaos and screaming-shouting going on. I was a little irritated so I thought I’d make one of them punish for making so much noise and it’ll be a lesson for all. The punishment would be that one of the young chaps has to write something for my blog or else there would be no sweets for any of them today.*evil grin* One 7 year old among them, who is the naughtiest among the lot and doesn’t leave a chance to tease me was smirking and making faces at me. I decided that he would be the scapegoat for the day. 70s and I have been talking a lot about the elephant posted on her blog so I decided to show him the post first, try to scare him and then ask him to write an essay on ‘I like elephants’. Although my mom tried to protest but I was adamant about it. No essay, no sweets. The rest of the kids were staring me with grim faces, and I am pretty sure that they must be cursing me in their hearts.

 

As soon as I started my laptop, all 10-12 of them jumped on my bed to see what am I going to show to their leader and what cost would they have to pay to get their sweets today. I loaded 70s blog and showed him the post.I asked him whether he liked the elephant? He first stared at me as if I have committed a crime by asking him such a question and how dared I ask such a question to the leader of the gang? In one word he replied,” No”.  Here was my chance.

 

I told him to write a letter to 70s telling her how much he likes elephants and rest of them have to maintain a pin drop silence while he writes the letter. With no option left, he decided to write but he asked for a promise. He said,” You will read this essay after distributing sweets among us.” Silly me. Without even giving it a single thought I said yes.

 

Following is the letter that he wrote:

 

 

Dear 70s Auntie,

 

I don’t like elephants and I don’t like Scratchy but I won’t get my sweets if I don’t write an essay on “I like elephants.”. 

I like elephants. They are nice and cute. They have big bums and I like them. I don’t like their hair pricking me when I ride on them but I like their ears. I like to hang myself on their ears. I don’t like the way they walk with one foot in China and one in India but I want my sweets so I like them. I don’t like them when they blow water on me with their trunk. Elephants like sugarcanes so, I like sugarcanes too but I like chocolates better. We have a God named Ganesha  who has a face like elephant. He looks better than elephants and listen to all my prayers. I pray to him everyday. He has a big tummy and likes eating sweets. I like eating sweets too. I don’t like the picture of the elephant on your blog… it scares me. Why have your parents named you 70s?My name is Ansh.

 

Thank you

Ansh.

 

As soon as he completed writing the letter, he asked me to distribute sweets first, and then only I would get the (precious) note. I snootily asked them to collect the sweets from mom. Yayyyy, they screamed, and left my room throwing the note on the floor. I quicly picked it up and read it. But. Before I could react to what he had written, these gits were standing at a distance from me, teasing me with their tongues out and giggling among themselves. All I could do was shoo them away and sulk. As if I had an option.

 

Note: This was a hand written note but since I don’t have a scanner with me, I have typed it exactly the same. I am sure that you have your sympathies with me. 

 

I am a movie buff but when it comes to relating myself with a character of a movie, I relate with none. But this meme where I was NOT tagged by Jay, asks me to relate myself with a movie character and make a movie of my life. Here are the rules….. as always:-

If you had to select celebrities/actors to play the parts in the story of your life today (including yourself!), who would it be and why – this can be based on looks or personality.

The Rules –

1. List the people who would play you, and the key people in your life.
2. Give credit to the person who tagged you.
3. Link your answers to the original blog, that’s here at iRamble.
4. Tag four new people to participate.

Now this was pretty tough for me until I visited Speedy’s blog. You have to check out his NOT Tagged Meme; I found it extremely intelligent. He actually forced me to think out of the box. I would have been tad difficult for me to pick up the movie characters and fit in movie of my life. I’d rather think of a whole family and fit them accordingly.

 

And when I think of Family, I think of Family Guy . So, mine would be a Cartoon Movie. 

  

 

We are four members in our family- Dad, Mom, My Bother and Me! We have included the street dog, whom my mom loves a lot, in this picture. Its standards are raising, it was demanding wine, and my mom was convincing dad that we can serve him atleast one glass a day. Darn! The little kid in the picture is the one from neighbourhood; I am suspecting mom as to why was she so keen on getting him clicked with us. I dislike him totally so, may be he can play a role of villain in the movie.

 

And how can I forget Scratcher? Without him my movie would be incomplete. So here’s an uncensored picture of Us.

 

 

 

Characters

 

Dad Head of the family, has a big paunch, a simple man, whose favourite pastime is to watch television. Am quite sure he must have told my mom the same thing what Peter (dad in Family Guy) told his wife once “Remember what I always tell you, if I come home in the middle of the day and catch you having sex with someone, I’ll kill you both”. Dad seems to find it frustrating when he is ‘wrong’ while Mom is ‘right’ about issues all the time.

 

Mom– Loves kids, and street dogs. She serves street dogs atleast twice a day with good meals, and mostly gets tickling gits in evening to distribute sweets. She is a stay-at-home lady who can be really nasty at times, and can be the cuddliest at the next instance. She is famous among the neighbourhood kids and one of the best home makers I have known so far. Her habit of keeping things extra-clean gets on to my nerves at times.

Brother- Totally opposite of Chris’s character, who is obese and unintelligent, in Family guy. Bro is an eye candy for women in town, has an detailed knowledge about actors, movies and music. In one of the episodes of Family guy it was mentioned that Chris was born as an accident due to a broken condom, I wonder whether same happened with my brother as well.

Scratcher- Mathematician at heart, loves me a lot…although I think that he loves maths more than me. A movie buff, bibliomaniac, rocker, a walking-talking dictionary, and can fight like nobody’s business. His character reminds me of Russell Crowe from A Beautiful Mind though but I’ll stick to Family Guy’s family.

 

Me The only character I have related myself with is Dagny Taggart’s from the book Atlas Shrugged.  It is played by Angelina Jolie in the movie. I wish I had a sexy pout like her. I wish! Am oldest child in my family, have a short temper, always whine about my weight, wear specs, so somewhere I would fit in the character of Megan, the daughter in Family Guy.

 

The dog and the kid would have very sidey roles in the movie until my mom really goes to an extent of protesting about it. The kid would always be playing pranks and disturbing my life, and the dog would be a talking dog, whose language would be understood only by my mom.

 

I’ll take some time to decide the plot of the movie. That’s all for now!

 

********The End********

 

This was darn tough! But Hey! I did it. Now, Dance, Dance, Drop Your Pants!

 

 

 

Rev, Olga, 70s, and Diane– Would you like to do this? 

 

Me – Lying down languorously, and thinking about the new accolade that Drowsey passed on to me.

 

Alter Ego (sarcastically) – Impressive Huh! Two awards in just two months of blogging. Which one this time?

Me (smilingly) – Mmm. The Kick Ass Blogger Award. 

 

The Kick Ass Blogger

Alter Ego (smirkingly)- Drowsey again?

ME (a little annoyed) -What do you mean by ‘Drowsey again’?

Alter Ego– I am just asking!

Me (chuckling at the thought)  Yeah!

Alter Ego– Why do you think she gave this award to you?

Me (shrug)- May be she likes me.

Alter Ego– May be not?

ME (startled)- But then, why do you think she gave this award to me?

Alter Ego– May be she wanted to kick your ass hard, and it’s her way to telling you that ‘since all you write is crap, and I want to give one Kick in your Ass.’ I thought that you were smart enough to understand this much!

ME (jaw drops) -Rather than thanking her ,you are just putting wrong things in my head. I am telling you that she likes me, likes me, and likes me. Do you know that I have to pass this award to five other bloggers?

Alter Ego (carelessly) -Mmmmm

ME- I’ll ask her tomorrow whether she likes me or not! Fuck Off! And if I don’t get another award from her, you better be prepared for an award from me.

Alter Ego– Yawn! It’s quite late, I gotta sleep. Good Night.

ME (Grumpy)- Buzz Off!

 

Drowsey, would you tell me who won? My Alter Ego or I? Tell me that I did!

 

Not thinking about way my Grima Wormtongue Alter Ego thinks, I am passing this award to five of my fellow bloggers whose blogs I enjoy a lot. But wait a minute! There are some rules.

 

Load Drowsey’s Blog- Copy rules there- Paste rules here.

 

* Choose 5 other bloggers that you feel are “Kick Ass Bloggers”
* Let them know that they have received an award
* Link back to both the person who awarded you and also www.mammadawg.com
* Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ , to get codes click here and it will take you to KABC HQ, sign Mr. Linky then pass it on!

 

Hmmm.. looks perfect. So, the Award goes to :-

 

Michael from Electric Egg Cream

Margaret from Nanny Goats in Panties

Daddy Papersurfer from Daddy Papersurfer

70s from Diary of A 70s Teen

And

The Vicar from Your Neighbourhood Reverend

 

Who can deny the multifariousness of the condoms? Apart from serving the main purpose of course, they have been used for smuggling cocaine and alcohol, for holding water in emergency survival conditions, and for protecting microphones in underwater recordings. Who knew that these tiny umbrellas could also act as …..Ooops! I’ll keep my big mouth shut, you check out the video to find out.

 

 

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