I have been feeling extremely lonely since morning because today is Friendship Day and I have no one around me to celebrate with. Ahh! That’s life, and sometimes I’d love to hate it.
Kids who grow up in joint families get their own set of advantages and disadvantages, and I have been one of those kids who have spent the initial eleven years of her life in one of the big joint families with some twenty odd members of different age groups around. Though being the youngest at home, I enjoyed getting pampered from everyone but somewhere there was some emptiness looming inside me which, needed to be filled and there comes the role of friends. I have always been a person who has a few friends, and the so called term called ‘fair whether friends’ doe not exist in my dictionary because in that case I deny calling such people as friends. Their presence or absence does not make any difference in your lives.
The only sad part about my friendships is that even after giving my hundred percent to the relationships, I tend to loose them. But on a second note, I think that I never gave my hundred percent or else I would have never lost them. I have had phases in life where at once upon a time I used to be best friends with someone, and then suddenly one day I end up realizing that the so called best friends are not even friends any more.
From Lower Kindergarten till standard 4, I had a best friend and by best friend I mean best friend. We used to do our home work together, go to each others home to play, used to make sure that we sit together in class (that’s another thing that our teacher never used to let us sit together because there was always so much to talk between us that it used to cause much trouble to others) , we used to go to picnic only if the other one were going and so on and so forth. But then all this ended one day and we didn’t realize why this happened. May be I had moved on…
In standard 4th I met another friend, who became my best friend for the next eight years of my life. We were famous in school because of our friendship. I even changed my school because she was changing it, and that point of time I didn’t even care what trouble my parents had to go through in getting my school changed. I was just adamant about it and I got it done. She used to prepare her signature coffee when I used to visit her, we used to go out for long drives whenever it used to rain, used to buy cards and gifts for each other for no reason, we were so close knitted that we were sure that no one could come between us. But things don’t happen as you want them to. A boy, who is apparently a close friend of both of us till today, actually led us apart. May be it was teenage that got us attracted to a boy and led us in giving him more importance to him than to each other. And after eight years of undisputable friendship we went so far away from each other that we barely talked once or twice after that. Now when I think of this relationship, I am able to figure out reasons for us splitting part but all this seem pointless now. With school, we ended our friendship as well.
During the college time, I met many wonderful people who are my close friends till today. Truth be told, I actually became extremely choosy about my picking up friends. May be I am scared of getting the story repeated and the thought that I will lose them one day always persists in my mind. Luckily, I have friends with whom I end up not talking for weeks but I know that they are there.
When I think, I think of many reasons why people end up losing people who have meant so much to at one point of time.
Mismatch of thoughts is one of the most common reasons that I come across. Many of my friends when they got married, I started losing touch with them because whenever I used to meet them after their marriage, the talks about mother-in-laws and husbands were of prime importance, and also I realized that they were more comfortable talking with married women or the wives of their husband’s friends. Well! That can’t be helped. Isn’t it? And no matter how much I think that the so called ‘marriage gap’ is overrated, I believe in it.
But now when I think about this journey, I feel that I have been fortunate enough to have had such wonderful people in my life and who have made difference in my life in some way or other. I always remember what Sushmita Sen once said when she was being pestered by media about her changing men in her life so frequently. She said “ Right men come at the right time and leave at the right time.” Frankly, it is true but it becomes difficult to gulp at times.
I have always kept friendship above all the relationships in my life and I don’t want to change that as well. For me this day means a lot and I want to wish you all a very Happy Friendship Day.
Don’t walk infront of me,
I may not follow .
Don’t walk behind me,
I may not lead.
Walk beside me and
Be my friend.
– Albert Camus