I have been staying at my home from past five months otherwise, I was staying in New Delhi and running a company with my boyfriend. My company was growing, Scratcher and I were planning to launch the next one with another partner, we had plans of marrying each other with the consent of our parents , we had become quite famous in our industry, we were almost having a live in relationship; in short, life never seemed so beautiful. Everything was set, we launched our next company, and in a very short time we got a great response as well. My parents were quite keen on getting me married so, they asked me to come home once, and have a talk about my future plans. I left for my home on 30th December, 2007 and the same day my mother asked me if I liked someone. *And then my life really hit me hard and brought me on my knees.* I told her about Scratcher, and from that day till today I have been staying at my home (almost house arrest). Reason being, Scratcher and I are not of the same caste. These past months all I have got is abuses, taunts, scolding, and yesterday to my surprise my dad even raised his hand on me. It was my mom who stopped him from hitting me otherwise, with the rage that he approached me he would have really hit me badly. And then my dad says that I will get you married to whomever you ask me to but he should be of the same caste. Do these things even matter when I have already chosen someone for myself? My parents keep blaming each other for what I have done. They curse my friends, me, Scratcher, and anyone whom they think has supported me. According to them I have committed a sin. The options that my parents have given to me are either I leave them and they will have nothing to do with me for the rest of my life or I marry according to their wishes. Wow! What options. In simple words, do what they ask me to do. The only good part is that I am still working from my home because it’s an online business and second, Scratcher and I are still together. Sigh!! I don’t seem to give up no matter how tough going has become for me and I will not.
It really hurt when I got to know that my mom saw her sister crying once because of some personal reasons, she made everyone stand up for her, did everything that she could do to help her. I have literally sobbed, begged, howled, taken all the shit that she has given to me on daily basis but she has always added harsher words whenever she has talked to me on the topic next, same with dad. I barely remember a day when I have gone off to sleep without crying atleast once in 24 hours. The worst part is that they have made cloud of perceptions about Scratcher, and have not even given a thought about meeting him once. I mean you can give atleast one chance to a person to prove himself. My dad even went to the extent of saying that even if God comes and asks him to get me married me to Scratcher, he will not. I myself have two options; either I elope and get married or I wait for them to agree. Eloping and marrying means leaving everyone behind forever and never looking back. And waiting for them to agree is like expecting a miracle to happen. But I think I have an extra faith in God and hope that my parents will understand my point of view one day.
They have blamed me for not clearing my entrance exams for MBA because I had been dating Scratcher since then. But I personally know that I have ever cheated on my work or studies ever. In fact I consider myself lucky that I didn’t get through because otherwise I would have never become an entrepreneur. I have always tried my level best to make my parents proud. Even when I was staying in hostel, my friends used to take regular night-outs but I took none; for the simple reason that my parents will not like it. And today also when I am waiting for them to agree( even after taking so much shit from them day in and day out), it’s only because I don’t want them to go through all the disgrace that would come upon them if I elope.
Sometimes I really ask myself if falling in love with someone a crime? Are you not allowed to work for your dreams? Had I been a boy, would they have not agreed? Is taking birth in an Indian family a curse? Is caste everything thing that should matter when you get married to someone? Do I have no right to live life on my own terms? Have I really committed a sin? I am really clueless. The only thing I know is that I am not giving up and I will fight this out. I am not compromising on my dreams and will work on each one of it to make it come true. I really thank god everyday for keeping me and Scratcher together till date. Miss you Hunny!