Recently a ruling has been issued against men by Italy’s Court of appeal that blatant scratching or holding testicles is “an act contrary to decorum and public decency” Italian men touch their dragon as a sign of good luck; it’s equal to doing a touch wood. Imagine you on the verge of finishing a business deal with an Italian man and suddenly he takes his hand to his thing as mark for good luck to say ‘Touch Cock’; I’d cancel the deal there and then. Eeeeu!! I personally think that a rule like this should be made universal; at least it will help people like us to have a better view early in the mornings when we are waiting for a bus or an auto. Now sometimes you will find an asshole who would be giving you this sly smile and he would go on rubbing his lump continuously. Other than giving a disgusting look in return of murmuring Fuck off! You really can’t do much. The bugger will always have an answer’ It’s my thing, what is your problem?’ I can understand that men who are not very educated don’t give much heed to public mannerisms but I have seen educated high profile men doing this without even caring who is looking at them. Also, they take their own sweet time to scratch- itch! Whaever!. No doubt I am so finicky about shaking hands with men. Leave everything and let’s come to the gentlemen’s game –cricket. Suddenly you will find you favourite cricketer doing this itchy act on international grounds and the whole so-called-gentleman feel is all in drain. Now this is getting enough!. I tried searching about the reasons behind men doing such an obnoxious act without even caring about their image or status and came across a few reasons.
· Hot weather- Hot weather makes them sweat more and the sweat leads to developing fungus and it becomes itchy. So, they scratch to feel relieved. Yeah! Why not?
· Underwear sticking at the wrong place- Now their fucking under wear sticks at all the wrong places, so to bring it to the right place; the hand reaches the wrong place automatically.
· Entangling of pubic hair- Why the fuck do they not cut the hair short so as to avoid all the hassle?
· Gesture of masculinity- Can you beat that? Dudes, if you scratch in front of women and think that you are showing your masculinity, forget it!
Some chauvinists also stated the reasons such as ‘if it itches, we will scratch’, ‘Dogs scratch, cats scratch and men scratch. It’s just nature’s way of taking care of a pressing problem. (I think there are more pressing problems to take care of than pressing your dick in front of others) ’ and, we’ve definitely got more stuff down there than women, so there’s more room for discomfort.(Who cares about others discomfort?)
Okay, I agree with all the reasons for men getting really scratchy but can’t they use loos or their private places to do all the scratching, itching, and masturbating and getting over with it once and for all in a day. Please don’t forget to wash you hands after all your manly gestures. I remember, my boss in the previous company used to scratch his little thing (yes it was so visible) so many times during the day that I always used to make excuses to avoid having lunch with him. The only thing that used to hover in my mind was he must have just touched it. Eeks! This post can’t get more gross than this. I already feel like washing my hands.